a day in the life of jessi

you are invited to spend a day in the life of her.

the gal who you might think has it all together.  the mama who seems to do it all. 
guess what?  she doesn't.

let's fight those lies.  this new series is an effort to dispel the superwoman myth.  it is a time to be encouraged and a place to be challenged. 

i have invited some wonderful women who want to be real with y'all.  they want to share their struggles and triumphs.  they want to give you a true glimpse into their everyday.  it might not be glamorous, but it is real and beautiful.

each thursday this summer, come walk a bit in the shoes of another.

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My name is Jessi, I blog at Naptime Diaries and run a little design shop with mostly scripture prints. I'm a daughter of the King, a wife to one handsome man, and a mama to three little wild gifts of God. And I'm a big fan of Annalea. 

...........

When I first read about Annalea's "a day in the life of her", I was so thrilled. 

Finally! We would get some vulnerability from women bloggers! 

Finally, some real life nitty gritty that lives behind light filled pictures and diy posts. 

I love a light filled picture or a good recipe, but sometimes they leave me feeling so lack-luster. 

So real. Maybe more real than I'd like to feel. 

And when my turn came to write my post, I did what any honest and vulnerable mama would do.

I started scheming. To heck with realness! To heck with vulnerability! 

It's totally honest to combine three or four days worth of pictures to make them look beautiful, serene, and acceptably messy, right!?

No one wants to read about a REAL, actual day. 

And yet, here I am. 

Too tired to lie. To tired to shade it well or format my pictures so it seems prettier than it is. Here is a day, today - to be exact, in the life of me. 

I woke up at 6am. Not my goal of 4:50 - which is just enough time to work out and have a quiet time. Instead, an hour and ten minutes late. I drug myself from bed with the hopes that I could catch a few minutes of time alone with the Lord and got all too easily distracted by the laptop. I answered emails, did a tiny bit of praying, and a little more emailing before my kids woke up at 6:20. 

The next few hours consisted of realizing we were having a massive septic issue, three children waking up fairly grumpy, pouting by myself about said septic issue, and hiding in my room, facedown, begging the Lord for the energy and joy and ability to make it through the day. 

The morning consisted of making tons of messes, trying to do a little cleaning, a friend visiting and letting me borrow her laptop cord (ours is dunzo, quite like our septic system) and an incredibly harried target run with three kids four and under. During which I bought my children CAPRI-SUNS. Just because they asked. A year ago I would have shivered at the thought of capri-suns. A post office run (still with all three kids) because I had some etsy orders that were just on this side of being late. Somewhere during this time, I tweeted my friends asking for prayer and I realized I was coming down with a sinus infection. 

I fought bitterness, discouragement, despair, and the intense desire to complain during these hours. The thing I think most during these kinds of days is, "why Lord did you make me a mom? It is SO hard for me, there are so many more worthy women. Why me?". 

When naptime came, God's grace to me was three children who napped like they've never napped before and I furiously did design work and answered emails. 

When they woke, we played and made more messes and did discipline and skipped our entire "get the house nice before Daddy comes home" routine. 

My husband knew I was nearing my breaking point and sent me out the door (still in the same workout/pajamas I'd worn all day) to meet the aforementioned friend and return her computer cord. 

I called my best friend from Seattle on my drive and we both told each other, 

"this is so hard. you're doing a great job". Motherhood, that is. 

We discussed women who it is easy for and thanked God for them, though we don't understand them. 

I came home to a still broken septic system, a husband who'd graciously fixed dinner, and three children who needed my joy as much as I did. 

I asked the Lord for the excitement and grace to make it through dinner, and we had a lovely one. We talked about preschool starting next week and I got to hear their funny comments and see their sweet smiles and force them to eat their brussel sprouts. 

True story. 

And when it was all said and done, though we tried as hard as we could - our only bathroom is still not functioning, my headcold is still raging, and my four year old is STILL AWAKE and too excited thinking about preschool starting (next week) to go to sleep at nine fifty four pm. And there is a day trip to pack for, and a plan to be made for the toilet, and sleep to get, and workouts that I just shouldn't miss tomorrow. 

And a friend asked if my day had gotten better and I replied honestly that, 

"it hasn't, but He hasn't changed."

And that's the real day in the life of me. 

The goods, the bads, the seasons come and go. 

The days where I can have lovely pictures and successful Target trips and do it all with a smile and then there are days where I fight tooth and nail to just be a woman that resembles SOMETHING like Christ, somewhere. 

And He never changes. 

And He never fails. 

And for that, I am overjoyed.

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i am a big fan of you, jessi.  thank you for your vulnerability.  i see so much beauty in it.  we all have days like this, FOR SURE.  and it is so true: He never changes.