birthday musings

i turned twenty-nine yesterday. happy birthday to me!

i love celebrating - birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, fridays. but i also turn very contemplative and somewhat more somber when march 25th rolls around. not because i am sad, depressed, etc that i am older. more that i want to be using my days wisely and want to take stock.

so where am i at? a daughter of the King, the risen Son of God, the glorious One. trying to embrace my roles and responsibilities as a disciple, woman, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. married almost eight years to an amazing, imperfect, loving, hot guy. two beautiful, rambunctious, and exhausting children. a stay at home mom with a bachelor's degree. i often go an entire day without being intellectual or analytical or showered or out of my pajamas. most of my time is spent feeding children, wiping bottoms, cleaning little faces and hands, trying to keep up with the chaos that is my home (toys in every nook and cranny) day after day after day. i love my family but they can still drive me crazy. i love my friends and they too sometimes make me a little crazy. i am sick and tired of being sick and tired - fibromyalgia is not my bff but it may be one of the most important things to happen to me. i need to be more patient, gracious, humble, and disciplined. i have been blessed with creativity and i love to embrace the beauty that God, the ultimate Creator, provided in this world.

i am sure my mom and grandma will tell me i am still young and naive, but i look forward to growing older. yes, i have lines around my eyes and mouth that don't go away with a good-night's sleep. i pluck a few more gray hairs every week. my skin has lost some of its youthfulness. but with time has come experience and maturity and a greater appreciation for God's provision.

last year, jesse and i spent a lot of time developing a family vision (or i should say, discovering God's vision for our family). we have been following a path over the last eight months that has brought us to a new church, a new city, a new home, a new job, new friendships. we are at the beginning of a new chapter and really don't know what is in store for us.

my hope is no longer on things of this world. five years ago, this was not true. i look forward to the time when God restores the earth to His original intention. this Hope is secure and powerful and sustaining. what is more exciting, is how much more i will have been taught and embraced in five more years.