beautiful, complicated mamahood

so yesterday was mother's day.  and i am sorting through a mixed and jumbled set of emotions as a result. 

there are mamas who are pampered and mamas who are ignored.  there are women waiting for children and mamas missing their children now gone.  there are women celebrating their own mamas, those longing for a relationship with a mama never known, and those mourning disappointments and rejection.

i don't know where you are at.  maybe more than one of those situations describes you.  maybe you are somewhere in between or somewhere completely different.  i don't know your story.  your deep, at the core of you, story of mamahood. 

but i know it is complicated.  beautiful and complicated.

and it can make my heart heavy and my soul ache. 

i can enjoy my littles and i can love the way jesse plans a day in my honor.  there is sweetness in that celebration.  but i can too clearly remember the years we waited.  the years we hoped and prayed and cried and despaired.  those years will always be part of my story.

i can think of our third child who we'll never meet on this earth.  this is part of my story.

over the weekend, i had the pleasure of attending a most lovely adoption shower.  my favorite part was hearing the expecting couple's story from the mama-to-be. a journey to parenthood that is a true example of complicated beauty.  this couple is seeing God work in unexpected ways.  there is so much more unknown for them, as they are adopting through the foster care system.  we are witnessing their faithfulness to His call.  will you join me in praying for them?

and let us pray for mamahood.  joyful and broken, wonderful and messy, beautiful and complicated mamahood.

will you share some of your story and let us pray for you too?